It's going to be six years soon, and I still feel so raw about it, you passing away and all. and I almost want to think about it, about how painful it is because I feel like it's a way of being closer to you. I miss you, I don't know what else I can say. I wish you were here when things got hard so you could tell me it will be okay. I still think about the day you passed away, and I still feel so guilty for not going to the funeral. Because I wanted to be there, so bad, to say my last good byes. But I couldn't, and I'm so sorry.
I wish the last thing I said to you wasn't something stupid, I couldn't think straight, because you were going already, I should have said Good bye, I'll be okay. But then again I don't think any words could have described how I felt.
And then you left....
I don't think I'll ever "feel okay" about this, you know? You'd probably tell me not to worry, but I can't help it.
I miss you and grandpa. I replay that home video of us often, just to see you guys again. I know, so depressing right? But it makes me smile.
I miss talking to you, I miss taking walks with you, I miss going to the morning market with you, I miss when you sang to me before I fell asleep. So many things....
Even though I'll be fine in the morning, it's still hard.
But I'll always be my grandma's favorite girl.
亲爱的奶奶，
我好想你。
～杨睿， Lily
